A little humor for the nurses.....

Nurses.....

*You can drink a pot of coffee and still go to sleep in the morning.

*You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazapam, and Compazine.

*You can't see it; it's probably not there.

*Your sense of humor seems to get more warped each year.

*You think it is acceptable to use "penis" and "vagina" in a normal conversation.

*You believe the definition of stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

*You believe that if warm wine enemas were routinely ordered, patient complaints would greatly decrease.

*You call some of your co-workers "Flowers in the Field of Medicine" because they're bloomin' idiots.

*You hope there's a special place in Hell for the inventor of the call light.

*You believe not all patients are annoying. Some are dead.

*You believe experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

*You see stress as a normal way of life.

*You have a tendency to laugh at your patient's "big" problems.

*You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart.

*You believe the problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

*You've ever thought, "Patients, God love 'em, because today, I sure don't!"

*Everything only happens all at once.

*You have more T-shirts that say, "Love a nurse PRN" than plain T-shirts.

*You've ever referred to other nurses as "Band-Aid Bunnies."

*You've ever been telling work stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw-up.

*You write a patient report and have to translate it to medical records because of all the acronyms in it.

*You notice that you use more four-letter words now than before you became a nurse.

*You look in your closet and can't find anything non-medical to wear.

*You've ever told anyone in pain to "stop being a baby and deal with it."

*You have a patient in four-point leathers that asks if you're a nurse, you reply "Yes", and walk away.

*You've ever told a patient to "stop faking it."

*You believe all bleeding stops...eventually.

*You don't get excited about blood loss unless it's your own.

*You don't hit patients or doctors....unless absolutely necessary.

*You believe the pain will go away when it stops hurting.

*Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong and if nothing has gone wrong, you've obviously don't understand the situation.

*You believe if you can keep your head among all this confusion, you obviously don't understand the situation.

*You've ever said, "Why am I here?"

*If you believe if a patient who has a catheter, he needs it.

*Everyone gets treated exactly the same...until they piss you off.

*When you get a call telling you the name of your next admit and you can do the care plan before the patient gets to the floor.

*When called for orders, the MD says, "Write them yourself; you know the patient better than I do."

*You've ever had to contend with someone who thinks constipation for 4 hours is an emergency.

*Ever rolled your eyes when the 14 year-old says, "No, I've never had sex."

*You refer to motorcyclists as organ donors.

*You can eat a candy bar with one hand while performing digital stimulation on your patient with the other hand, and it doesn't bother you.

*You believe Tylenol, Advil, or Excedrin provides a large part of your daily calorie intake requirements.

*You've ever held a 14-gauge needle over someone's vein and said, "Now your going to feel a little stick."

*You can identify the "PID Shuffle" and the "Kidney Stone Squirm" at 15 feet.

*You've ever had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve earrings say, "I'm afraid of shots."

*You've ever thought, "As long as he's got a pulse, I don't care about the rhythm."

*You think the ultimate cruel joke is get someone drunk, take them to the ER and tell them he OD'd on "some kind of pills."

*You automatically multiply by three the number of drinks a patient claims to have daily.

*You can keep a straight face when a patient responds, "Just two beers."

*You feel that if someone is shot or stabbed, they probably deserved it.

*You stare at someone in utter disbelief when they actually cover their mouth to cough.

*You think "awake and stupid" is an appropriate choice for mental status.

*You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.

*You have encouraged obnoxious patients to sign out AMA.

*You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

*Your most common assessment question at 2 a.m. is "Why is this an emergency now?"

*You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick.

*You don't believe 90% of what you're told, and 75% of what you see.

*You firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis.

*You have to leave the patient before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.

*You believe a book entitled "Suicide: Getting it Right the First Time" will be your next project.

Ash Wednesday

Last night, one of my favorite friends and I went to church. Due to clinicals, work schedules and complete exhaustion, it has been a little while since I have made a Wednesday night service. We go to Church of the Highlands and last night I was reminded why I love my church so much. The worship part of our service brought tears to my eyes and as I felt the Spirit start to due a work in me; healing, convicting and most of all: blessing. We were reminded that "worrying" is not a burden that God intended us to carry and were also taught the right way to handle being broken. My church is such a blessing. God is doing amazing things there. I'm thankful for the friends that I can talk about faith with, they bless me daily.
The reason I titled this blog "Ash Wednesday" is because I was so encouraged by my roommate. She is first and foremost, a Christian, not just a Catholic. It's so easy for some people to claim their "religion" instead of the bigger picture. All God wants is for us to just simply be a Christian and worship through whatever way suits you- may it be singing Amazing Grace at a Baptist Church or taking communion at a Catholic church. When you reach the pearly gates, I seriously doubt saying "Oh, I was a good Methodist/Catholic/Whatever"...is going to get you in. There is only one way to do that, and thats simply claiming Christ as your Savior. Period, the end.
Anyway, back to my roomie- I respect her. She goes to church alone, even though she knows fellow Catholics that either A) Choose to not go to church at all or B) Go somewhere else. Ashley also comes to Highlands, which I love. I had some Catholic friends that wouldn't even try it out because it was "different", so...live a little. The Christian walk is truly a roller coaster for me. I'm up, down, twisted and turned constantly. The one thing that doesnt change however is how much God truly loves me, forgives me, blesses me and hears me. I think I've been in a state of "brokeness" for almost a year and I think I'm finally healed or at least on the road to healing.
I'm a blessed girl and am making it a point to stop taking that for granted.

Your Girl Is Lovely Hubble

So, as you all know, I am doing internship currently at Children's Hospital. My preceptor, that I stinkin love, has gotten me addicted to Netflix. So, she made me this list of classic movies that I "have to watch", and I am two in so far. I must say, these are the absolute best movies I've ever seen. So, here's the list thus far, I have watched the first two:
1. The Way We Were
2. When Harry Met Sally
3. Fried Green Tomatoes
4. All About Eve
5. Casablanca
6. Beaches
7. Terms of Endearment and The Evening Star
8. From Here to Eternity
9. The Mirror Has Two Faces
10. Funny Girl
11. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
12. It Happened One Night
13. Stand By Me
14. To Kill A Mockingbird

So, by graduation, I plan to have watched all of these movies. Netflix is the best thing since girl scout cookies, hands down. I encourage you guys to watch a few of these, AMAZING.

Bloopers of the Brain

I don't know if maybe it's the night shift one week and then normal week the following, (my preceptorship is 7on/7off and I'm on nights one week and days the next)....can you say "terrible sleep schedule"? So, here I am, it is currently 5:59am and I am counting down until 7....for sleep. During this shift, my patient is thankfully soundly sleeping with no distress and I am sniffling due to my lovely cold. So, a few things hit my brain tonight,here goes it:

- I am almost a college graduate. Although, I am excited counting down the days, I'm scared to death! I'll be a nurse and finally be a big girl. AHH!

- I believe music is a wonderful escape from life.

- The weekend of the infamous "rodeo" at Auburn; I will get to go to a Braves/Phillies game the night before and a rodeo the day after....solid weekend. Still, Go Yankees.

- Laughter is really an amazing medicine.

- I've realized time really does heal most wounds.

- Being in pediatrics, I've also noticed how thankful I am for my wonderful parents. Not only did they love me tremendously, but that they took such wonderful care of me. I've never gone without and they are always there when I need advice. Truly blessed. (don't worry, ging and I still have the usual world wars from time to time, but I treasure her thoughts)

- I. Hate. Meatloaf.......absolutely disgusting.

-I really want to catch a massive fish and have it mounted. I don't really know what sparked this desire, but the next big bass I catch, thats it.

- God speaks in mouth dropping ways.

- I'm determined to do the Boston Marathon by 2013. That's my goal. Putting it on a bright piece of paper and hanging it somewhere obnoxious.

- Derek Jeter.........

- I am pretty sure I should go to a "Girl Scout Cookie Addicts Meeting"....No, there isn't such a thing, but I am an addict. The thin mints-put in the freezer = heaven. If you aren't a minty person, go for the simoas....umm yummmmmmm... Then, if you are boring, just get the shortbread ones...they will do. Either way, I've attempted looking into having these bad boys delivered year round, and yeah...can't do it. Apparently, this is "girl scout cookie season".....boo. on. that.

- I am also terrified of the dentist and am starting to get annoyed at the "friendly reminder" emails saying I'm due for an appointment. No. No way. I'm cavity free, brush and floss daily. No pointy hooks needed. Thanks. bah.

That is pretty much all I have after almost a 24 hour day with a 2 hour nap. So, good night.